The Problem With Pairings
by Powerstars
Summary: A comedic satire of shippings. Today, we poke fun at FinnXBubblegum, FinnXMarceline, and FinnXFlamePrincess. (Note: This takes place pre-FP Breakup)
1. Comical Misunderstanding

_Ladies and gentlemen, this was me thinking of __Adventure Time!__ and shippings one night._

Finn was riding a giant Jake to the Candy Kingdom. Princess Bubblegum said she had invented some new things and was heading on a brief trip to some science capital of the world or something. Finn literally fell asleep when she explained. Anyways, the important thing is that Finn and Jake were supposed to guard these things, for if they went into the wrong hands, they could royally (No pun intended) screw something up. Big time. Apparently, one of the things she had invented was a love potion and she didn't want the Ice King getting it. Of course, Finn didn't know _why_ she made a love potion. The explanation of why she made everything came somewhere in the middle, and he had been long asleep by then.

And he couldn't help but think of that sleep, despite him not wanting to, because when he did, it made him blush. He had dreamed of Flame Princess during that time. And, being a 14 year old boy who had trouble controlling his thoughts, let's just say he dreamt up some, ahem, _suggestive _things. Suggestive things that a 14 year old boy should not be dreaming up, but just does. Finn started blushing again and Jake looked up at him with a playful grin. "_Oh Boy,"_ thought Finn, "_here come the wise remarks."_

"Hey Finn," began Jake. _"Here they come,"_ thought Finn. Jake slowly opened his mouth as if to torment Finn. He breathed in. And Jake said, casually, "We're here." Finn was dumbfounded, and nearly speechless.

"Huh, what? Oh. Okay." And Jake grinned at him again mischeviously. "Shut up, dude," said Finn. Jake's grin grew.

"I didn't say anything." Finn had a comeback.

"You did now, so shut up!"

"C'mon dude, let's just go in." And they did. Go in. In case anybody can't put two and two together. They ran into Peppermint Butler, who escorted them into the Princess's lab. She was adding the final touch to a pink liquid when she noticed them.

"Oh, Finn, Jake! Good to see you!" She giggled. Finn grinned. Even though he no longer had a crush on her, he just couldn't resist that giggle. It was _sooooo_ cute. "Well, I better tell you what all of these are and who to keep them away from. I also invented some decoys in the form of badly flavored soft drinks, given that I only invented potions. Anyways," she pointed to a green liquid, "this is a growth potion. You can probably guess what it does." Jake raised his hand.

"Ooh, ooh, ooh! Pick me! Pick me, I know! Oh oh, pick me! Ooh!" The princess giggled.

"Yes Jake?"

"It...uh...makes things...bigger-er...AM I RIGHT!?"

"Yes Jake."

"Oh sweet!" Jake pointed his stretched finger at Finn. "YOU GOT NOTHING! YOU GOT NOTHING!" Finn laughed.

"Man, stop." Jake grinned the same grin he had grinned at Princess Bubblegum when she had looked at Finn and the Flame Princess in pity. And he said the same thing as well, this time to Finn, much to PB's dismay.

"Jealous." Finn was becoming annoyed.

"Shut up man." Jake laughed.

"Okay, okay, I'll stop." Princess Bubblegum breathed in.

"Okay, anyways, growth potion and OH! Just a minute guys, I gotta go to the bathroom." And guess what? THAT. IS. WHAT. SHE FREAKING DID. Jake looked over to the pink liquid.

"Yo Finn, you should try this. It's probably one of those sodas! Let's see if they're as bad as she said." Finn sighed, knowing that Jake would pressure him into it sooner or later.

"Fine." He drank some...and immediatly spitted it out because it tasted awful. He closed his eyes and shook in disgust. By the time he opened them, Bubblegum had come back. He stared at her for a moment, awkwardly. She was uncomfortable.

"Uh...Finn, are you okay?" Finn blushed, jumped out the window and ran off.

"FINN!"


	2. A Really Freaking Stupid Thing To Do

"What's wrong with Finn?" asked an understandably confused, and slightly angered Princess Bubblegum. Jake was scared.

"Does i-it have anything to do with this bad tasting pink soft drink I gave him?" he asked, holding up the pink liquid. The gasp from Peebles was not a good sign.

"JAKE! That was the love potion I told Finn about! Who's the first person he saw after he drank it?" Jake sunk into himself and cowered.

"Y-you..."

"OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Jake, do you have any idea what this means? Now, Finn is going to have a crush on me like he did before! Ah jeez! How will Flame Princess react? SHE'LL FREAK OUT, DUDE! Jake started panicking.

"WE GOTTA DO SOMETHING!"

"DUH!" replied Princess Bubblegum. "I'll go check if Finn's at your tree house. You coming?" Jake started thinking.

"No,uh...I have an idea..." PB was extremely interested, being panicked and all.

"WHAT'S YOUR IDEA!?"

"AH uh...it's a surprise...?" Princess Bubblegum looked like she was going to bite Jake's face off. And her response?

"Oh. Okay. I'll be back in a bit, get your plan ready by then."

"You got it, Princess!"

"Very good, Jake. Well, I'm off" And she was off. Like she said. Off. LIKE. SHE. FREAKING. _SAID!_ And Jake had an idea. Like he said. *sighs*

"Oh man, I hope this works," said the tan dog as he mixed some of the love potion into the pitcher of pink lemonade in the refridgerator. Princess Bubblegum loved pink lemonade which was pink...as the name implies. I hate narrating. Anyways, Bubblegum returned an hour later. "So uh, Princess, how'd the hunt for Finn g-"

"AWFUL. I DIDN'T FIND ANYTHING."

"Princess calm down! And, uh, I think that, uh, maybe you should drink this lemonade to calm down maybe?"

"Ah sure, why not? I _do_ love lemonade in the color of pink!" She sipped the lemonade/potion and Jake pulled a picture of Finn out of one of his folds of skin. Yes, Jake keeps a picture of Finn in between his folds of skin. Creepy, right? Luckily enough, the picture was enough to have the Princess get a giant, ridiculous, awkward crush on Finn. Even worse than the crush Finn had on her. As it's in the awkward phase, she's afraid to confess this love! D'aaaw! Isn't this fanfic **LOVELY**? "Jake?" Jake looked at PB. He didn't know if the potion had worked it's magic, or if PB suspected what was going on and he was majorly dead. Bubblegum's face was totally blank.

"I have to go look for Finn as soon as possible," she said with so little emotion it would make Keanu Reeves jealous, "Would you like to come?" Jake smirked, although the princess didn't notice.

"Yes. I'd love to come. But we should split up, so we can find him faster."

"Yes, great idea, Jake. How will we stay in contact?"

"Do you have any walkie talkies?" And she did. So off they went. But, Jake knew exactly where Finn was as he ventured over to a certain firey Princess's house.


	3. That Angsty Part With The Screaming

So, the blonde teenager ran to Flame Princess's house. She was outside the house, with various things that she, more than likely, found in a dumpster somewhere. She was experimenting with her fire powers. Finn ran up to her. "Flame Princess!"

She was happy to see her beloved boyfriend.

"Oh. Heeeeey Finn." Finn choked back vomit. After mysteriously falling back in love with Bubblegum, he could barely stand to look at his formely loved girlfriend. He used to think she was hot in every possible way. Now she looked hot in one way, but not in the other. Finn even thought she looked a little chubby. "Finn, what's wrong, you look you're gonna puke." Finn was caught off guard by this.

"Oh, um, uh, it's...nothing! I-had-something-a-while-ago-but-it's-gone-now heh heh!" Flame Princess looked awkwardly at Finn. Very very awkwardly.

"Are you sure you're okay?" She put her hand on Finn's shoulder. Finn slapped it away.

"I TOLD YOU I'M FREAKING FINE! GLOB!" It was too much for Flame Princess to hear this. She started crying (lava) and ran into her house. "No, wait! I'm sorry!" But it was too late. Finn knew he'd messed up. So he sat on a rock and put his head in his hands. He felt like crying. Despite his strange feelings for Bubblegum lately, he still loved Flame Princess and hate to see her hurt. Worse still, he was the reason she was hurt. He felt like garbage. But he heard some running. He turned and saw a familar tan dog shouting his name.

"Finn! Finn! Hey!" Eventually, Jake ran into Finn, knocking him over. Finn couldn't help it, he laughed.

"What is it Jake?" Finn was in a better mood now.

"Well, y'know when I gave you that bad tasting soft drink?"

"Yeah."

"It was a love potion."

"Yeah, I kinda thought so."

"So, you know what I did to fix it?" Finn was interested now.

"Really? You fixed it!? How?!" Jake was really entusiastic. Finn was going to love his solution.

"I gave PB a love potion and showed her a picture of you!" Finn was dumbfounded.

"W-Wha-...What?"

"Yeah, so now you guys can finally be a couple!" Finn clenched his fist.

"DUDE! YOU THINK I _DESPERATELY_ WANT TO BE WITH PB!?"

"Well kinda..."

"NO! I BARELY SWALLOWED ANY OF THAT LOVE POTION! I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT PB OR FLAME PRINCESS!"

"Oh yeah that's right, Flame Princess..."

"YOU FORGOT ABOUT FLAME PRINCESS!? IF I BREAK UP WITH HER, SHE'LL BE PEEVED! PEEVED I TELL YOU!" This was the point when Jake knew he screwed up. He whispered something quietly under his breath.

"Oh crap."


	4. Marceline Gets Dragged Into This Mess

"Dude, I'm sorry. I never put Flame Princess into the equation." Finn's expression went from angry to pretty neutral.

"Eh, it's cool dude. I can't stay mad at you. The question is: What are we gonna do about this? I mean, either Flame Princess is going to burn me to death, or Bubblegum is going to go on a ridiculous emotional roller coaster." Jake thought about it a bit, until he looked over to Flame Princess's house and saw her coming back out. Finn ran up to her.

"FLAME PRINCESS!" She seemed indifferent towards him.

"What do _you _want?" Finn sighed.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you. Jake and I are dealing with something complicated right now...okay that came out wrong. Bottom line, I'm really stressed out, so..."

"Finn, you don't need to say anything else. I forgive you."

"Really? Aw, you're the bes-" Before Finn could finish his sentence, out of nowhere, PB tackled Flame Princess out of the way. Finn's eyes widened.

"FINN. You should come to my castle so we can hang out together," PB's eye twitched, "FOREVER." Finn let out his high-pitched sissy scream and ran towards Jake. He saw a fight coming on. Espesially when Flame Princess stood up looking mighty peeved.

"WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA, BUBBLEGUM!?" She looked ready to fire...well, fire from her hands.

"BACK OFF, YA FIREY JERK! FINN'S MINE!"

"I THOUGHT HE WAS OVER YOU!" Flame Princess turned to Finn. "What's going on!?" Finn stumbled over his words.

"W-Well, uh, ya see that, um, I well, er, um...JAKE RUN!" And run Finn and Jake did, despite the fact they didn't know where they were going. "Jake, any ideas for where we should go!?"

"Um...we could go to Lady's."

"Great, let's go there!"

"Um, actually," Jake said, Finn looked worried, "I don't know if I want her to have to deal with this madness."

"WELL DO YOU HAVE ANY BETTER IDEAS!?"

"AH! Uh, maybe, just don't yell."

"Sorry homie."

"I've got it! Let's go to Marceline's! She can give us a place to hide and help fix this mess!" Finn smiled.

"Dude, that's a great idea!" He looked behind him. Bubblegum looked like she was going to kiss him to death and Flame looked homicidal. Finn gulped. "AND LET'S DO IT LUMPING FAST MAN!" After a couple miles they lost PB and FP, but they wouldn't stop running for anything. Eventually they reached Marceline's house and pounded the crap out of the door. Marceline answered and they started screaming and gasping for breath.

"M-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-Marc-M-Marceline!"

"Guys, what's wrong? Chill!" Finn and Jake both breathed heavily for 30 seconds and then explained what went on in a flustered manner. Marceline, who had every reason not to believe them, believed them. "Pft! Is this a joke guys?"

"What? NO!" screamed Finn, "YOU GOTTA BELIEVE US, THEY'RE GONNA KISS AND KILL ME TO DEATH AT THE SAME TIME! HOW CAN I PROVE TO YOU THAT I'M TELLING THE TRUTH!?"

"Well...If I saw both of them doing something like, I don't know, trying to beat the crap out of me because they think you have a crush on me or something, I suppose I'd believe you." And just then, PB and FP ran into the cave where Marceline lived and both of them looked ready to kill her. "I'm not gonna take my chances out here with them. GET INSIDE!" So, Finn, Jake, and Marceline ran inside. Finn and Jake ran upstairs to hide in her closet. Marceline was in the form of a giant beast trying to block the door. Even still, the combined might of the two crazy Finn-obsessed Princesses was putting up quite a fight. Marceline put all of her furnature in front of the door and ran (floated) away to find a place to hide. But she had no idea where. She flew into her room and looked for a place. Any place. Then she heard some voices that sounded distinctly Finn-like.

"Psst! Marcy! In here!" So Marceline hid in the closet just as the front door began to give. Finn could hear Flame Princess...

"FINN! OPEN THIS DOOR AND TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON BEFORE I MURDER YOU!" ...and Princess Bubblegum...

"FINN! I WANNA HUG YOU AND SQUEEZE YOU UNTIL YOUR EYEBALLS FALL OUT!" ...and knew that it was only a matter of time before they found him, and killed him with either fire or kisses. He didn't wanna be killed by either. He didn't want to be killed by the two he had been so emotionally conflicted about earlier. He wished he could just calmly explain the situation, but obviously, that wasn't going to happen, he thought and he heard the door finally cave in.


	5. The So Crazy It Just Might Work Plan

The door caved. Finn was panicked. He looked over and saw that Jake was also worried. But Marceline was totally freaking out. He'd never seen her this scared. He knew crap was gonna go down here. The unmistakable sound of the Princesses screaming and fighting was almost defeaning. All of a sudden, Finn felt Marceline put her hand on his shoulder. He turned and was frightened by how wide her eyes were.

"We gotta get outta here!" she whisper screamed. Jake nodded his head in agreement. But Finn questioned this.

"How?" Marceline pointed to the window.

"We gotta jump for it. QUICK." Finn heard a crash from downstairs and decided that he'd probably live longer if he jumped out of the window. They all ran towards the window. First Marceline. Then Jake. As Finn was about to, the door flung open. He saw Bubblegum, but instead of her normal pink color, she was burnt brown. She looked awful

"Finn," she said in a strained voice, "help me." Then Finn saw Flame Princess, and instead of helping Peebles, he decided to help himself by getting the glob out of there. He, Jake, and Marceline needed a place to go. As Marceline looked back at the house, she shed a single tear. Her house had been destroyed. They found a ditch to hide in and discuss what they should do next. Finn was the first to speak.

"I know it sounds crazy, but," he blushed, "m-maybe we should try to get Bubblegum to help?"

"No way man!" criticized Jake, "You just want her to help because of that stupid love potion, right?"

"N-No! Well, maybe a little, but still! Before a jumped out of the window, she looked burned and asked me to help her!" Marceline interjected.

"Wait, isn't she jacked up on the love potion too?"

"Well yeah," Finn responded, "but she still looked hurt."

"So what, dude?" yelled Jake, "She was trying to hurt Flame Princess!" Finn gasped.

"Flame Princess! Crap, she's gonna kill me, and she has every reason to! She has no idea what's going on!"

"Dude, it's okay," comforted Jake, "she'll probably understand. I mean, you had no way to explain."

"Yeah," added Marceline, "I mean, from what I understand, it's not your fault at all. It's Jake's." She smiled.

"Well," responded Finn, "bottom line is we gotta tell her about it. We need to seperate her and PB somehow." And then, Finn had a brilliant idea. "JAKE!" Jake flinched.

"Huh? What?"

"How much White and Blue paint do you have left?"

"A decent bit, why?"

"We can send them in opposite directions. You can shapeshift into me and paint yourself to look like me, so Bubblegum can chase you, while Flame Princess chases me so I can explain what's going on."

"Uh, what should I do?" asked Marceline. Finn thought for a moment.

"You can fly above us and drag our sorry carcasses away if this doesn't work."

"Okay." All 3 of them gave each other knucks and headed to the treehouse. Jake shapeshifted to look like Finn and gave the thumbs up for Finn and Marceline to put the paint on him...


	6. Epic Failure

As Jake was covered in paint, they saw PB and Flame Princess out the window. Finn pointed to the woods that he knew had a splitting path. The question was, how to get each princess to see only one "Finn." The conclusion was the most logical one possible. Have Marceline cover PB's eyes while real Finn gets himself chased away by Flame Princess. Then Jake comes in and Marcy flies away. It makes perfect lumpin' sense doesn't it? Not dangerous at all. So, as they saw the 2 princesses approaching the tree house, there was less stress. Finn jumped out a window and both FP and PB tried chasing him...until Marcy grabbed PB long enough for Finn to run out of site. Then Jake came out. Finn had decided that they were far enough away from P-Bubs now for him to explain. He turned around and screamed.

"Flame Princess wait!" And, as unlikely as it sounds, Flame Princess screeched to a halt. "Now that you and Bubblegum aren't trying to violently slaughter each other, I can explain everything." Flame Princess crossed her arms and instead of looking like she wanted to bite Finn's head off, she just looked a bit ticked.

"Please do, then." And Finn did just that. And obviously, Flame Princess didn't believe him (Who would?). She just kinda got angry and threw fire at him. Lots of freaking fire. So he ran. Really freaking fast. Oh, and Bubblegum wasn't happy to learn that it wasn't Finn she was chasing. She hit Jake over the head with a random tree stump. Marceline, flying over the forest, had to make a choice. Finn or Jake? Well, Finn didn't have any sort of powers to escape with, so she decided to get him. Or maybe it was for other reasons that she chose to get him instead, cried the shippers. I..I don't agree with your shipping. So, anyways, she flew down to Finn, who was a good, oh I don't know, like 3 feet ahead of Flame Princess. She had to get his attention.

"Finn!" He noticed her because she was quite loud. OW. MY EARS. So, anyways, she grabbed his hand.

"Thanks!"

"Well hey, I didn't want you to die because you were burnt to death by your own girlfriend. I mean geez."

"Hey, what happened to Jake?"

"Oh, he should be able to get out with his stretchy powers, right?" But Jake couldn't get out with his stretchy powers. Because he was knocked out. Y'know, by the stump. Turns out that did have something to do with the plot.


	7. Tell It Like It Is, Finn

"JAKE" Finn started to scream before Marceline covered his mouth.

"You want her to hear us? Worse yet, Flame Princess could find us if you scream. We gotta find a stealthy way to save Jake!" she whispered.

"Yeah. Stealthy. But wait, we need to find out if this has an antidote. I mean, my head is all screwed up from this. Man, when it's over, I gotta take a shower."

"Well, I gotta build a new house, dude!"

"Oh yeah, I'm really so-" started Finn. Marceline simply laughed.

"It's okay, it's not your fault. Besides, I still own your treehouse, so I'll just stay there until I rebuild my house."

"Oka-Wait, does that involve kicking Jake and I out again?"

"Doesn't matter, we gotta rescue Jake."

"Oh yeah, how are we gonna do that?"

"You distract Bubblegum with your, uh, good looks I guess, and I'll take Jake's lifeless body to your treehouse!"

"Y'know, you can put the part about Jake in more comforting terms."

"Yeah, I know." She smiled micheviously at Finn. Finn punched her in the arm playfully. She brought him down to a group of trees behind PB and flew off near Jake. Finn knew he was gonna have to do something. He tried to make his voice sound deep and sexy for added effect.

"Heeeeeeeey, Princess." It just cracked as Finn blushed. PB laughed.

"Oh Finn," Bubblegum began as Finn saw Marceline carry Jake away, "I knew you'd pick me." Marceline gave Finn the thumbs up. Finn blushed and put his hand behind his back.

"Uh, yeah, about that..." Finn trailed off and PB did not look amused. She crossed her arms.

"Yes, Finn!?"

Finn started mumbling awkwardly which turned into a scream. "JAKE-WAS-BEING-STUPID-AND-USED-A-LOVE-POTION-ON-B OTH-OF-US-AND-NOW-YOU-LOVE-ME-AND-ONCE-AGAIN-YOU-H AVE-A-HIGH-PITCHED-VOICE-THAT-I-THINK-IS-HOT!" Finn took a deep breath. PB stared at him blankly.

"What was that last part?"

"NOT IMPORTANT! You just gotta use the antidote on both of us! I feel dirty AND Flame Princess wants to kill me!" Bubblegum shifted her eyes.

"Oh. That man stealer?"

"Princess, this isn't funny! Would you please, please, PLEASE get the antidote and get everything back to normal?"

Bubblegum agreed and Finn jumped for joy. "YES!" he yelled victorious.

"But..." she began

"Uh-oh."

"Only on one condition." Finn sighed.

"What's the condition?" Princess Bubblegum smiled and blushed as she whispered it into Finn's ear. Finn blushed and his eyes widened.

"A Kiss." Finn tried to run, but PB pounced on him. She was too strong. She put on some lipstick and prepared herself. Things were 'bout to get awkward.


	8. Icey Interuption

As (bad) luck would have it, just before PB and Finn's lips touched, Flame Princess found her way throught the forest, stopped and saw it. Marceline was also getting back from the treehouse, so she saw it from the air! Well jeez! I apologize for what I'm about to write, it's overly dramatic. Ahem. Now then. As her soft lips (See what I mean?) touched his, she was content. He was panicked. His girlfriend was watching and he was doing it against his will. The worst part? He kind of enjoyed okay. Okay then. Overly dramatic section over. Phew. Despite this, he, instead of kissing back, was screaming into PB's lips for her to stop, something that FP could see. And Bubblegum lifted herself off Finn, she giggled. Finn gave her a stern look.

"Alright then!" he yelled, "I kissed you...or, rather, YOU KISSED ME! Therefore, you have to fix this mess!" PB giggled once more

"Okay, fine." Finn looked satisfied. Marceline floated down and Flame Princess walked to him with her mouth nearly touching the ground.

"Finn, I'm so sorry, I didn't know you weren't lying."

"Ah quit it, FP. This _is _a parody fic, not a serious, overemotional one!" Flame Princess raised an eyebrow.

"What are you talking about?" Finn's eyes widened. He'd broken the 4th wall!

"NOTHING."

"O...kay." And that small gag was that. So all of them began to head to PB's Castle. Why didn't they tend to Jake first, you ask? Not important right now, because the Ice King came out of nowhere and laughed his evil...laugh.

"Oh Priiiiiiincess!" PB's eyes widened. She hugged Finn and put her head in his chest.

"Oh Finn, save me!" Flame Princess looked peeved, Ice King looked surprised, and Marceline looked disinterested. Ice King went to Finn and started whispering in his ear.

"Finn, how'd you get the Princess to be so, uh...clingy?" Finn slapped the Ice King across the face, and pushed PB away. He grabbed his sword and jumped into the air.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Ice King sidestepped out of the way.

"Woah, easy man!" Marceline looked a little freaked out. Finn noticed and turned around.

"Don't worry, just getting him outta here."

"Hey, mind if I help" said Flame Princess.

"Go for it!" yelled Finn happily. FP giggled and shot fire at the Ice King.

"Woah. Oh! AH!" he screamed as he ran away. Princess Bubblegum crossed her arms and pouted. She was extremely jealous as Finn gave FP a high five. Marceline noticed.

"Oh chill out! He had a crush on you and you kinda blew it, there, Bonnibel."

"I know, but I miss him," she pouted. Jake stretched out of the treehouse. Yeah, apparently a blow to the head heals pretty fast on flexible bodies.

"Oh, I see what's going on here!" Marceline looked angry and started morphing into a werewolf. Obviously Jake was nervous and he started sweating rapidly. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding!"

"You better be. Anyways, we should probably get going to the castle now."

"Agreed," said Finn, "I hope Ice King doesn't get any more ideas..."


	9. Sneaky, Evil PB

As the Ice King flew back into his castle, Gunther knew he was upset. Deep in thought. The Ice King, deep in thought. That can't be good. The Ice King didn't understand how Finn got the Princess to be so attached to him and he wanted to know. Friendship? Nah. Saving her all the flipping time? Nope. Brute force and kidnapping? Perhaps. But he'd got an idea. What if his crazy wizard eyes could pick up how Finn got the Princess not to call him a creep and swat him away all the time after he'd snapped at her. Why, this is a stupid parody fic, so that just might work. He flew back out to Gunther's confusion. No, not because the Ice King hadn't said anything. It was because the Ice King never thinks. He knew something was wrong here.

Unfortunately for Finn, they were now walking through a creepy forest, a perfect time to go into "hug me hero" mode. She was still smart, therefore she knew that if she tried hard enough, Finn would involunintarily start to love her. During all this, Flame Princess was angry and didn't look at the annoyed Finn and Marceline noticed her jealousy and couldn't help making fun of her for it (Being Marceline and all). Jake, meanwhile, was tormenting Finn much to his annoyance, which only made PB laugh more, as she knew that Finn would eventually fall for her. You see, instead of letting it take it's natural time (Pft! As if this fic is anything like natural), she had developed a mathematical formula to make it happen in a short manner of time. What is this formula? Well, it's very interesting really, because...what's that? You say you don't want to hear about the boring sciency formula? Well fine, miss out on an oppourtunity for me to use the word "Mathmatical" in this fic! Be like that! Humph!

"Hey Flame Princess, why the long look?" asked a tormenting Marceline.

"Humph!" exclaimed the annoyed Princess of Flames and fire and stuff.

"Aw, jealous of Bonnibel?" Marceline laughed. Meanwhile, Finn wasn't doing much better.

"Ooh Finn, cheating on Flame Princess I see!" cooed Jake. Finn uttered unprintable words and Jake continued the unbearable teasing. "If you still wanna be with Flame Princess so much, why do you run from Peebles and **go **to Flame Princess." Marceline and FP overheard and looked back at them, although Finn didn't notice.

"You think I can run from her? She's nuts man! Last time I tried, she replaced me with a blow-up doll and locked me in the dungeon for a half-an-hour. You seriously didn't even notice that that was a freakin' blow-up doll for that time!?" Jake looked at him blankly.

"Uh, no."

"WELL IT WAS!" Flame Princess went up to Finn.

"Finn, chill!" Finn sighed.

"I'm sorry FP, but this is not a _fun_ experience."

"Well..." FP started. The Ice King perched himself on a nearby cliff and used his wizard eyes. There was some sort of weird liquid inside Bubblegum! He then realized how wrong that sounded and gagged a bit. The icy puke landed on Jake's head. He looked up and saw Ice King. What followed was Jake screamed, the Ice King firing ice, mainly at Finn, Flame Princess blasted the Ice King with flames, PB being _waaaaaaaay _too obsessive towards Finn, and Finn attacking the Ice King with his sword while being hampered with PB's obsessiveness.

"Princess, get away, I need to beat him!"

"But Finn..."

"**NO!**" Finn screamed as he kicked the Ice King to the ground. With that, Ice King flew away, because...I don't know, getting kicked to the ground isn't fun or something and our heroes continued their journey.


	10. Bubblegum's Crazy, We Need Black Magic

"Hey Marceline" said Finn, blushing. Marceline turned and faced him.

"'Sup?" she said in the most comforting voice that anyone could make that one sylable in.

"Do you think you could hold PB back so I don't have to..." he paused.

"Ooh, of course!" yelled Marceline, who immediately tied PB to a random shopping cart that came out of nowhere. PB squirmed, which caused Marceline to turn into a werewolf. "If you struggle, I kill you." Of course, this only got PB to struggle even more. Jake was disturbed.

"Man dude, Marceline is into some weeeeeeird stuff!"

"I know, right man" agreed Finn. "Wait...ew!" Jake giggled as Flame Princess then walked up to Finn. "Oh...hi Flame Princess."

"Hey Finn."

"Sorry I haven't been able to talk to you much lately, with all the, uh, er..." he blushed.

"C'mon Finn, don't get awkward! We don't want this fic taking a creepy turn."

"Oh, yeah," agreed Finn.

"Fic?" wondered Jake out loud. "What are you talking a-"

"Hey guys!" interupted Marceline to keep the very fabric of the universe in tact. "Bonnibel is stronger than I thought...and she kinda escaped...and now I don't know where she is." Finn started panicking.

"JAKE HIDE ME!" he yelled. Jake morphed into a cage with a door. Finn went into the door, which was then morphed out of Jake. "Phew, I feel safe now!" said a calm Finn.

"Me too" PB said in a deep, seductive voice as she suddenly popped up out of nowhere behind him. She opened her arms. "Hug me, hero!" Finn, of course, screamed like a girl.

"JAKE-LEMME-OUT-LEMME-OUT-LEMME-OUUUUUUUUUUT!"

"Uh, uh, OKAY MAN!" replied Jake, who was trying to keep up with this mess of a plot.

"Okay" said Marceline, who was nearly speechless by this point, "we're obviously going to need some dark magic to contain her now, and I know just the guy to call." She grabbed an axe-shaped cell phone and started dialing a number. The ringing stopped eventually, signifying that whoever she had called just answered. "Yeah, it's Marceline...Bubblegum's acting crazy, I need you to get over here...don't give me that!...okay, I'll tell her...alright bye!" She hung up.

"Who'd you call?" asked a curious Finn.

"The one person who can keep PB in check when she gets _this _crazy," Marceline responded. She smirked and Bubblegum looked a bit worried. "Peppermind Butler. Oh, and by the way, Bonnibel. He told me to tell you that if you continue acting crazy, you won't live to see Finn." PB shreiked and ran behind Finn who blushed as he slapped her arm. _I don't know why_, thought Finn, _but I almost feel sorry for her_.

Meanwhile, Ice King and Gunther were in a tree near our crazy messed-up gang. The Ice King had bought several badly dubbed asian kung-fu movies to help him learn the art of stealth. Gunther went along because he was still worried about what could happen if the Ice King was deep in thought. The Ice King looked directly at PB and Finn with his wizard eyes and saw that there were some abnormal particules in their system that he could actually, get this, identify.

"Okay Gunther," whispered the Ice King, "I hope you brought your notepad." Gunther moaned.


	11. And Then, Things Proceeded To Get Real

Back in the Ice Kingdom, with a list of the chemicals that were inside of both Bubblegum and Finn, and went to research it on the most reliable websites in the Land Of Ooo: Google and Wikipedia! Unfortunately, the page was full of boring nerdy text and no pictures. The Ice King groaned and pulled out two books. "The Nerd To Normal Guy Dictionary" and "The Normal Guy To Idiot Dictionary." After 2 boring hours of decoding the page, the Ice King figured it out. He gasped.

"A love potion!...ooh, Finn is a sneaky, dirty one!" Gunther raised an eyebrow. "Of course, if I cure her, then she'll love me instead of Finn. I'm brilliant!" He laughed in his...Ice...King...laugh, I don't know. I seriously don't know...help me. Anyways he flew off to find our heroes...and he doesn't even know the cure. We're dealing with a dangerously intelligent threat here. Be afraid, readers. Be very very afraid...

"Ah!" screamed PB. "Lemme go!" she yelled while locked in a prison made from Peppermint Butler's dark magic.

"Don't make me summon the demons!" threatened Peppermint Butler. PB shreiked in a high pitched voice. Marceline laughed evily. Finn couldn't believe it, but he felt kind of sorry for Peebles. He shook his head and let the thought pass. Flame Princess noticed that something was up, however.

"Finn, what's up?" she asked.

"I dunno, FP," he answered, confused. "I mean, I don't know why, but don't you feel a little sorry for PB?"

"Um, no. I mean, she trapped you in a dungeon for the love of Glob!" This is when Jake hit them with the plot.

"Hey Finn, weren't you the first one to drink that disgusting love potion?" Finn's eyes windened.

"Crud crud crud crud crud crud crud crud crud!" Flame Princess raised an eyebrow.

"Wait, what?" Finn blushed.

"Well, uh, er, um, oh glob...uh...um...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HH!" Finn screamed and just ran forwards. Just ran. Just. Flipping. Ran. Well, to be fair, what else was he gonna do, I mean...oh, sorry, rambling. Anyways, Flame Princess screamed his name and followed after him, burning all the trees in her path so Finn would have nowhere to hide.

"STOP!" screamed PB.

"Great, she's gonna rant about Finn" groaned Marceline.

"That's bad for the enviroment" yelled PB, "Don't burn the trees!" she continued, showing that she wasn't completely gone. Marceline and Jake giggled.

"What? I'm serious." This only made them laugh harder to the point that they were both literally laying on the ground laughing.

"You know," PB said, beginning to become annoyed, "that's extremely filthy and you could get sick" Jake and Marceline were now laughing so hard that they could barely breathe. "You know what" said an extremely annoyed PB. "Forget it."

Meanwhile Finn was running out of places to hide as the entire forest had caught flame, thanks to a certain homicidal mania-...I mean Princess. He found a large rock, but knew it was only a matter of time before he had to recap the first few chapters. He didn't like recaps.


	12. PB's Plot Progresses

And so Finn recapped. He recapped as no one had ever recapped before, recapped as hard as his body would allow. Eventually, when Marceline and Jake stopped hysterically laughing, they and PB ran to catch Finn and the firey danger that will be the death of us all. In case you didn't notice, I was referring to Flame Princess. Idiots. AHEM. So anyways, yeah. Flame Princess wasn't exactly happy finding out that her boyfriend was mildly in love with her main source of competition due to Jake's general idiocy. As a matter of fact, she was taking it rather badly. And by that, I mean she had grabbed Jake by the neck and held him against a tree with a particularly rough texture to it. And was interrogating him by screaming at the top of her lungs, scaring the various birds that flew by. Did I mention that she was rather angry?

"Why, IN THE NAME OF GLOB, would you do that!?" she yelled. Jake shrunk and ran for it. Before she could begin chasing him, Finn stopped her.

"Flame Princess," he began, "even though I'm kind of effected by the love potion, it's not worth killing Jake over...well, at least not you killing Jake. He's like my brother, so I should be the one to kill him!"

"I heard that!" yelled a frustrated Mini-Jake. Marceline could see he was getting in the way of the conversation, so she turned into a werewolf and growled. He shrunk even more to the point that he wasn't even visable as he ran off. Finn glanced over and FP giggled.

"Anyways," Finn continued, "all we have to do to resolve this is go to The Candy Kingdom and make sure Peppermint Butler keeps PB in check."

"Hey!" PB yelled disapprovingly. Peppermint Butler covered her mouth and his eyes went dark.

"I WILL SNAP YOUR NECK." Everyone just kinda dropped what they were doing and had a neutral expression. Peppermint Butler's facial expression returned to normal when PB shut her mouth. "Now then, shall we continue with the quest?"

"Y-yeah..." muttered everyone awkwardly. Peppermint Butler put on an innocent smile.

"Good," he said in a cheerful tone. Peebs was shaking. Partially, she was freaked out by Peppermint Butler, but she was also trying to subtly seduce Finn. Man, science is stupid sometimes.

"Hey," Finn said in a soothing voice as he walked over to PB, "it's okay, calm down."

"DUDE," Jake yelled, "ARE YOU CRAZY!?"

"Aw, what's she going to do to me?" asked Finn, smiling.

"ForceYouToHaveMyChildren" muttered PB. She coughed immediatly afterwards and then smiled.

"Finn," started Flame Princess, "I don't trust her either."

"Oh come on!" complained Finn, "I don't think she's gonna try anything!"

"Dude," said Marceline, "she locked you in a dungeon and replaced you with a dummy."

"Pffffffffft!" Finn said as the seduction was finally beginning to work, "I don't need you guys complaining! C'mon Peebs, let's go chill with the butterflys and bees." PB giggled. Everyone was looking worried, and Flame Princess was on the verge of tears. Things were not gonna end well...

Meanwhile, the Ice King had perfected the reverse-engineered love potion. Yeah, I know he was originally going to cure Peebles, but screw that, this plotline is more fun. He was really excited and wanted to use it as soon as possible, so he sniffed out Finn (Yeah..he can do that...he's a creeper) and started flying to him immediatly. Like I said...creeper. Gunter knew something was up. He was worried...and rightfully so, as things were gonna go wrong.


	13. Who Writes This Crap?

"HA HA HA HA HA!" The Ice King was laughing in a creepy, old-manish kinda way. I wonder how he's gonna screw this one up, wondered the sad narrator, contemplating his life. Is this really what he was going to do with it? Narrate an Adventure Time fan fiction? It was a job that didn't pay well. Actually, it didn't pay at all. How was he going to afford to feed his family? Wait...What's that you say? Get on with the story, you say? You don't care about the narrator's financial problems, you say? Fine then. Anyways, by this point, Jake had followed Finn and found him and PB. He was hiding in the bushes, to see what they would do. Did I mention he has a camera. Aheehee. Ahue. This is gonna be good. And so the conversation...began.

"Sorry about how they all yelled at you," Finn said, blushing.

"It's alright dude," said PB, also blushing. Wait...oh no! I can see where this fic is going! GET ME OUTTA HERE! I DO NOT NEED TO SEE THE PART WITH FINN'S BOING LOINGS. _**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!**_

"Dude, just get on with the story!" scolded Jake. Ugh, fine. But if Finn and PB hit tier 15, I'm outta here! I mean, I'm all for Fubblegum and all, but..."DUDE!" yelled Jake. Okay, okay, man. Anyways, Finn and PB were getting just a little too close to each other and blushing a bit too much for Jake's comfort zone. He was about to do something when Peppermint Butler jumped out of nowhere onto PB.

"_**DO NOT DO TIER 15!"**_ he yelled in a demonic voice as he tackled PB to the ground. He took an axe out of nowhere and was about to chop PB's head off until Finn stopped him by jumping in front of her.

"NO!" Peppermint Butler looked confused as Flame Princess and Marceline appeared in front of the trees near Jake.

"Dude, you do know what she would do to you if she had the chance, don't you? In fact, I think she's trying to trick you right now!" That got Finn to snap out of it. He ran to Jake and yelled...

"PROTECT MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Jake stretched in a tent-shaped...thingy and protected Finn who was now curled up in a fetal position and panting heavily.

"Take it easy, dude," started Jake, "you're sweating all over me! And that's gross!" Finn calmed a bit.

"Sorry man, but I'm freakin' out," said Finn. Jake patted him on the head...oh no, don't tell me we're shipping Finn and Jake now.

"Don't worry, man, I'll help ya!" replied a reassuring Jake.

"Oh thanks dude!" said a grateful Finn. PB put her head down and sighed. Marceline flew by.

"You're more manipulative than I thought," she said. "I like that." Oh no, don't even start with that one! And so PB blushed and attempted to slap Marceline, which she avoided, laughing at her crappy aim. PB blushed and ran towards Finn in Jake's flesh tent. Finn squealed.

"Jake," he yelled in a high pitched voice, "hide me!" Jake stretched into something of a dungeon covered in spikes. Pointy spikes. If anyone tried to enter, they'd be spiked. Hard. There was even a window (a spikey one) for Finn to look out of.

"How's this, man?" asked Jake.

"Great, dude, thanks!" replied Finn, as he looked to the sky out of his spiky window. "What's that?" Marceline flew by.

"Is that...?" she started.

"Oh no!" shouted Flame Princess.

"ICE KING!" they all yelled angrily.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA" the Ice King laughed evily. "With this love potion, the princess will fall in love with me instead!" And then his hand slipped. "Whoopsie daisy!" The love potion landed on Jake, who happened to be looking directly at Marceline...


End file.
